The Moment You Stop Leaving Yourself
Beautiful Soul,
So much of our lives can become shaped by one exhausting belief:
If I can only do something differently…
fix what went wrong…
become better…
or reach the next breakthrough…
then perhaps I will finally feel okay again.
We make a mistake… and immediately search for the thing that will redeem us.
We experience a low… and begin reaching for the next high.
We feel lost… and assume we must quickly find our way.
We feel something painful… and believe our task is to transform it into something better.
And without even realising it, our whole life becomes a movement away from where we are.
Away from the disappointment.
Away from the fear.
Away from the part of us that feels it has failed.
Away from the emptiness, uncertainty or discomfort of simply being here.
But what if the deepest transformation does not begin when we finally get somewhere else?
What if it begins in the moment we stop leaving ourselves?
When A Part Of You Takes Over
There are moments when something happens and, almost instantly, we are swept into an entirely different reality.
A part becomes activated.
The mind begins creating stories.
Emotions rise and take hold of the body.
We become completely attached to what we are thinking and feeling… and before we know it, those thoughts and emotions are navigating our choices.
We are no longer witnessing the experience.
We have become the experience.
The frightened part is speaking… and we believe every word.
The rejected part is hurting… and suddenly rejection is all we can see.
The part that feels it has failed begins searching desperately for something it can do right.
The part that fears abandonment reaches outward for reassurance… while quietly abandoning itself within.
And this is not wrong.
It is not another failure.
It simply means that, for a moment, we have left the presence of who we truly are and entered the world of the part that is asking to be met.
The Moment Of Recognition
We often believe progress means never becoming triggered again.
Never falling into the old pattern.
Never being taken over by fear, anger, shame or doubt.
But the truth of it all is something far more loving...
It is the subtle, yet precious, moment when you recognise:
Something in me has been activated.
A part of me is leading right now.
I am following every thought as though it is the truth.
I am being carried by this emotion rather than lovingly witnessing it.
That recognition is not evidence that you have failed... it is the doorway home...
Because the moment you can see the part… You are no longer completely consumed by it.
The moment you can witness the thoughts… You are no longer only the one thinking them.
The moment you can lovingly recognise that you have left yourself… You have already begun returning.
The Addiction To Somewhere Else
Our world teaches us to keep reaching... Our systems we build accordingly...
There is excitement in the climb.
There is momentum in striving.
There is a temporary feeling of relief when we move from “I have done something wrong” into “Now I am doing something right.”
And so we can become caught between the highs and the lows.
When we feel low, we search for something that will lift us.
When we reach the high, we fear losing it.
When it inevitably passes, we believe we have fallen again.
And the cycle begins once more.
Up and down.
Success and failure.
Expansion and contraction.
Doing well and doing badly.
But life was never asking us to remain at the top of the wave.
Life moves in waves.
And freedom does not come from learning how to stay high forever.
It comes from discovering that you can remain unconditionally present with yourself through all of it.
That you do not have to abandon yourself in the contraction.
That you do not have to grasp at the expansion.
That you are the love for the part that is hurting without making its pain the whole truth of who you are.
When Presence Becomes Your Reference
Just yesterday, I hosted a call in which we remembered that the body already carries an innate intelligence... an intelligence capable of supporting healing in ways far beyond what we have been taught to believe.
And once again, something became crystal clear.
We move so easily into a consciousness of separation…
The body becomes one thing.
The mind another.
The soul something else entirely.
But they were never truly separate.
Within this experience of separation, life becomes divided into opposites:
Healthy is good. Sick is bad.
Success is good. Failure is bad.
Expansion is right. Contraction is wrong.
And we find ourselves endlessly moving between them…
Reaching for one state while trying to escape the other.
But as long as we allow these changing conditions to determine who we are, how safe we are or how powerful we are, we unconsciously give our power away to them.
Our joy depends upon the high.
Our worth depends upon the success.
Our trust depends upon life unfolding as we hoped it would.
And this is the invitation to gently take your power back.
Not by becoming a guru.
Not by reaching some perfected state of consciousness in which you are constantly centred, peaceful or “one.”
But by becoming aware.
Aware that you can move into and out of different parts without defining yourself through their eyes.
Aware that a part can feel afraid without fear becoming the whole truth of who you are.
Aware that you can experience contraction without believing you have lost your expansion.
And from this awareness, something begins to soften.
Life becomes less like a test you are constantly passing or failing…
And more like something you are free to experience.
Choice returns.
Joy returns.
Even your full sense of play returns.
Because when presence becomes your deepest reference point, the conditions no longer hold all the power.
You can enter the silence without needing to fill it.
You can rest within the all-encompassing stillness without fearing that nothing is happening.
And from that beingness, something new can arise... something you could never have accessed while completely identified with the fear, pain or urgency of a part.
This is where your magic lives.
Not in controlling the conditions…
But in remembering who you are within them.
Perhaps last week’s eclipse brought you face-to-face with a part of you that still believed it needed to reach a certain level…
Achieve something…
Release something…
Or become something…
Before it could finally be what, in truth, you already are.
And perhaps that was the portal.
Not the eclipse itself…
But your willingness to meet what it illuminated.
You Are the Portal
The portal is not the next breakthrough...
It is not the moment you finally become healed enough, successful enough or spiritually evolved enough.
You are the portal.
Your presence is the portal.
Your willingness to stay is the medicine.
Because every true breakthrough is not a movement towards someone you still need to become…
It is the unravelling of something you were never truly meant to be.
A role, protection or identity you adopted in order to survive, belong or be loved.
Every breakthrough simply brings you closer to the pure truth that is already here.
You are all-ready it.
You always have been.
And the invitation is to stay with yourself when every part of you wants to run.
To feel what is here without immediately needing to transform it.
To recognise the part that is frightened without handing it control of your entire life.
To say:
I see that you are here.
I see what you believe.
I feel how frightened you are.
- And I am not leaving you -
This is where the deepest embodiment begins.
Not in becoming someone else…
But in becoming present enough to include everything that is here.
Nothing Has Gone Wrong
Beautiful Soul, perhaps you do not need another high to rescue you from the low.
Perhaps you do not need to do something right to erase what you believe you did wrong.
Perhaps you do not need to escape this moment in order to return to your truth.
Perhaps the most courageous and transformational thing you can do is pause…
Breathe…
Recognise what has taken the lead…
And return.
Not by force.
Not through judgement.
Not because the part should no longer be there.
But because all of you deserves to be met by the presence of who you truly are.
Again and again.
As many times as it takes.
You are not failing each time you leave yourself.
You are learning how to return.
And every return deepens the trust that, no matter what moves through you…
You will no longer abandon yourself within it.
With all my love and light,
P.S. If you have the space and time today... and haven’t yet subscribed; this is exactly what we will be exploring more deeply in today’s free masterclass:
Learning to Trust the Heart of Life Again
When life, love or care have felt unpredictable, we do not only stop trusting other people, we can begin losing trust in ourselves and in the heart of life itself.
Today, we will open a space to gently meet what taught us to withdraw, protect and prepare for disappointment… and begin restoring the inner safety that allows us to trust, receive and live from the heart once more.
Today @ 3:00 PM UK & Portugal / 4:00 PM Central Europe
10:00 AM Eastern/ 9:00 AM Central/ 8:00 AM Mountain / 7:00 AM Pacific
Come exactly as you are. If you can't be there life, a recording is available soon after ♥️
Let's return together to the truth of your magical presence
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